A Highly Convivial Space
A party in a small seaside town: fun, food and friendship for everyone in Eid week
When I arrived, there were just a few people. Some of them were playing badminton in a foursome and immediately greeted me and my wife warmly and offered us a place in the game. We replaced two adults (who went off to check on preparations) and we began to share giggles and ineffectual shots (plus plenty of misses) with two pre-teen girls who were dressed very unsuitably for sport (this being a party, after all). When some glammed-up older teens click-clocked in on their high heels and came to stand in close to watch, we happily ceded our places to them.
An elderly woman in a wheelchair was sitting at the doorway to greet newcomers, so I chatted to her for a while and found out from her that this organisation runs regular social and cultural events, including workshops, mental health walks, and craft exhibition sales.
Letting her continue door-duty, I shifted into the main hall, where smaller tables were set up with chairs and paper tablecloths and where two long tables were already covered with full bowls and platters. Even so, women kept appearing from the kitchen bearing new dishes, moving everything around to make space.
Two young women - clearly close friends - arrived, chatting intently. They were warmly greeted by several of the others. One of the pair was tall, blonde, wearing a black mini-dress with long bare legs; the other woman was shorter, with brown-skin and black hair and wearing a pale long skirt-and-top set, with carefully matching fashionable hijab.
A few men sat near the back, talking quietly and keeping out of the way, while women and kids everywhere greeted, laughed, talked, brought and set out food dishes.
A game of indoor hockey now took over from badminton, while something energetic was also happening outdoors. Kids ran in, laughing and chasing, said their quick hellos around the room and then ran outside again to play. People kept arriving.
A young woman in a striking outfit which would be quite common in London but is less common in Worthing – carefully matched dress, leggings, funky head-wrap and jewellery – talked to us for a long while. She told us that she has recently moved here from London and also, a bit unexpectedly, that she is a lifelong scout and a scout leader. (They’re not Girl Scouts these days, just Scouts, she explained).
All around us, stereotypes were gently melting.
Mariani, the woman who set up this event and who had invited me, made a very short speech and invited us to eat. How to choose with such variety? All low-carb intentions vanished as soon as I tried one of the tiny home-made pizzas; four or five disappeared swiftly into my mouth and I didn’t feel guilty, because there was such a huge bowl of these delicious soft fluffy herby things on the table.
I settled down to a table, where a family of three sat and talked without restraint to me, as if we were already well acquainted, about their personal histories, migration stories, health issues, lives, beliefs, travel experiences, and food preferences. We shared some stories and struggles and commiserated with each other over a few things. We had very different backgrounds and lives, but also found that we had several shared life experiences. The teenager jumped up every now and then to survey the ever-expanding table and return with special items for her less-mobile parents.
Fresh dishes continued to arrive from the kitchen. At one point, home-made chicken nuggets caused a great stir of joy through the room and the kids went wild.
The groups at the tables were mixed: white folk and quite a few more brown folk than you usually see in any Worthing social situation. The variety of different dress styles and accents brought a profound sense of energy and a feeling of expansiveness to the space. This felt like vernacular cosmopolitanism, or if not that, then at least, conviviality. (Social anthropologists - including me - have written about both. They’re different ways of living pluralism and both work).
The group is part of Worthing’s ‘One Love festival‘ initiative. This was an early grassroots piece of work started in 2016, aimed at bringing people from diverse backgrounds together.
In June 2024, my hosts of the day held a table sale of crafts and food as part of Worthing’s summer Festival. Their report-back says: -
“Together, we're building a stronger, more inclusive community. Here’s to many more events like this! 🙌. Always remember our purpose, fun, food and friendship!”
These locals are building strong bonds and bridges within Worthing - and also reaching out to the wider world. Some of the craft items on sale at a recent fair included keyfobs, badges and hairbands made by a group member and on sale to raise funds for Medical Aid for Palestinians
As I left, I popped my head into the kitchen to thank the cooks and ask who made the pizzas, because they were so very memorable. (And I have eaten many in Italian homes and pizzerie). The group of women clustered in the kitchen laughed in recognition: these pillowy-soft mini pizzas are, apparently, famously desirable. The maker raised her hand and smiled at my acknowledgement of her skill.
Food, Fun and Friendship: this was Worthing Women’s Hub post-Eid family party. Open to everybody, intentionally convivial.